Not my finest 'Mommy Moment' today. I took the kids down hill tubing with our close friends, these are girls Michaela has been friends with since they were all 3yrs old....they love all of her, for who she is...thank goodness, because there are days when she just decides to be completely quirky and stubborn all at the same time.
Makes me want to just...AAAAAHHHH...want to...I don't even know what! She frustrates the crap out of me and if it were socially acceptable to just leave your kids on the side of the road, today would have been the day.
She took all of 4 runs down the tubing hill and decided she was done. We still had almost 2 hrs of time left. She wanted to go have lunch and then go back to one of the girl's houses to swim....which was the plan BUT after the 2hrs of tubing.
I REFUSED to leave, there was NO WAY I was taking that from Aaron. That poor kid sacrifices more than he should already.
She started crying...made me more annoyed...I got right in her face...told her she was ruining the day and she could just sit there by herself. I made her pull a tube over to the side and sit in it. I told her if she moved even an inch from there, I would send Aaron with our friends to have lunch and swim, and I would drag her pain in the butt home! She sat there, in that tube, for 2 hrs, while the rest of us enjoyed the tubing...I should have felt bad, but I didn't.
Some days, I'm just sick to death of this WS crap, sick of making things work just for her and angry at the times when she doesn't fit in, even with her closest friends.
Maybe a better mom would have found a way to make it work for her....I just didn't even feel like trying to think of another solution. Today, I just had had enough.
Monday after Christmas
9 hours ago
13 Comments:
This happens even with non WS kids my oldest loves here sister to death but sometimes when we go somwhere as a family Hope can make us all crazy, all we here is IM bored. and we just have to sit her down so suzi can get some of what she needs and wants. Im never happy with how I act when this happens but it is something I have to do for suzi. Im just waiting for hope to grow out of it maybe?
Today was a day when I had enough too. I yelled and cried and broke down. All because of the same reasons you just stated...there is no right or wrong and it is frustrating beyond belief!
You did the same I would have( on my days I can stick to my guns)
I totally, 100%, without a doubt, understand this! I totally think you did the right thing. I would have done the same thing! I don't think it's that Michela doesn't fit in....if one of her girlfriends had done the same things you would not look at her the way your looking at Michela..., you'd look at her through pre-teen glasses instead of WS glasses.
You know, Laura, Payton is not yet Michaela's age...but I do NOT look forward to the pre-teen age. I feel like I can somewhat relate to your statement of how Aaron has already given up so much already - I feel that way about Koen already. You did the right thing, Laura.
PS-I hope Aaron has a great first day at high school :0
Hi Laura
My litlle girl is only 19 months old but I feel for what you are going through as I know it will be me facing it, sooner than I would like to think no doubt. As far as I believe all kids have to learn that they can't have things all their own way and that goes for our WS kids too. Don't beat yourself up about it, I love following your blog and in my eyes you are a wonderful mum, keep up the good work.
Steph x
Hi Laura
Just a quick note from Sawyer's grammy! Hope you don't mind I check in on your blogs from time to time. Michela gives me inspiration for Sawyer in the future! As for your "guilt" trip- get off the train! You acted like a top rate mom- you treated your wonderful daughter normally! What a challenge for those of us who have special needs kids. As you mentioned, we tend to make many concessions in our daily lives to make them happy- and in doing so, are sometimes unfair to spouses or siblings. You were not mean or out of line! Congratulations on teaching Michela how to be a team player. Joanne (in TN)
I totally sympathize with you! Even though Abbi is only 2 1/2 years old, she's incredibly stubborn and strong-willed. I think you did exactly what most mothers in that situation would have done, and I think it was totally appropriate (both your feelings and reaction). Sometimes, I like to think that their strong wills and stubborn ways will serve them well in this world given some of the obstacles they face with a disability. If it matters, I think you're a great mom!
I totally sympathize with you! Abbi can be incredibly stubborn and strong-willed at times and she's only 2 1/2. So, I can't imagine her as a hormonal preteen! I think you handled the situation perfectly, and the fact that you refrained from screaming or dropping a child along the side of road speaks to your incredible parenting skills! Sometimes, I like to think that perhaps that stubborn streak or strong will might actually serve their best interest considering their disability and the world in which we live. If it helps, I think you're a great mom!
AMEN.
HA! Okay. So, we aren't so different. Not that I thought we were, Laura. This is EXACTLY how I would have handled it. I get upset about the same things. He drives me CRAZY!!! Sometimes I just want to wring his neck. You can only give so much. Stubborn as a mule. Sheesh! Hope she thoroughly enjoyed her time sitting in the tube ;)
We are in the beginning stages of thinking about having another child. I know it's the "best" thing, the "right" think, etc. but I'm scared. I'm afraid I'll still give all my attention to Summit and this other child will get my leftovers. I'm afraid this other child will have to sacrifice a lot too, and resent me for it later. It's a scary thing, children, and there never seems to be an easy answer.
We have had issues like this but not with Noah, Grace. She is very spoiled sometimes. Lexi has always been the one I felt bad for. She is very easy going like Aaron, but I know sometimes she wishes we would have just left her home. Feel for you.
Totally been there!!!!
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